Blanka Makes Poundcake

Blanka makes poundcake, and Farva has an unnatural love of it.Read More

Farva: Resident Asshole

I’m an asshole. I don’t mean to be, and deep down inside I’m a pretty good guy, but on the surface I’m a real dick.Read More

The Aussie Pub-Crawl

Farva gets a visit from our resident Aussie, Muttonchop, and takes him for an epic pub crawl through Texas.Read More

PAX Preview – Rocksmith

Well, something magical is coming that may one day propel me into the ranks of the amateur musician. This magical device, Ubisofts’ Rocksmith.Read More

My Attempt to Suck Up to KmartGamer

I wanna go to E3. Hopefully, Kmart can help with that. Read on to learn how.Read More

The Eagle (Movie Review)

Farva went to a movie, then he wrote a review. READ IT NOW!!!Read More

NGP vs 3DS (A British Tale)

Our Little Shippy has added his second article to the Ship. So imagine a preppy accent and hear his thoughs on the next generation of hand-helds.Read More

New Crewbie

Well here I am. After a long tiring swim from the rainy shores of England I have finally made it to Talkingship’s fleet. I may be tired, wet and deprived of any action. I feel I need to introduce to my fellow shipmates. I’m a youngster compared to the majority of you, oldies. As before I made the rather long swim I celebrated my 15th birthday.

Read More

Review : Halo Reach

Are they standing on the sun?

Understand, I just wrote a two page article listing all of my problems with Halo: Reach, but my inability to click the “save” icon on the top of the page cost me everything. I’m now angry, a little drunk (as I was drinking while I wrote it) and am having to redo it. Now, I didn’t like the game, so the anger wont hurt the rewrite. I also found the game to be so dull that I drank through the second half so (come to think of it) the drinking part shouldn’t really hurt the review either. Okay, I’m gonna try and list why I didn’t like the game in a few, easy to read paragraphs.

Read More

Why Are They Raping My Childhood?

Why in God’s name is Hollywood doing this to me? I used to love my childhood memories. Sitting around on Saturday morning, eating a big bowl of my favorite cereal, in charge of the remote because I the oldest (and the meanest) all the while allowing my mind to be shaped by animated characters. Now Hollywood has pretty much killed of all original ideas and has set its sights on those precious memories.

I used to watch Yogi Bear and the Smurfs and laugh at what I thought passed for jokes at that time. Now these are being made into live action movies. If they turn out to be as mentally scarring as the Marmaduke and Garfield movies, my childhood will be all but lost.  Even a cartoon with a decent premise was messed up so badly that I literally left the theatre and kicked my car tires in frustration. (I’m looking at you, G.I. Joe)

Hollywood + Excellent Villian = Plastic Vader Fail

What makes this memory-rape all the more painful is the fact that these evil bastards appear to be purposefully skipping some of the greatest cartoons of the 80’s. So, without further adieu, here is my list of the top three cartoons that should be given a live action treatment.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

Read More