Posts By David
Well here I am. After a long tiring swim from the rainy shores of England I have finally made it to Talkingship’s fleet. I may be tired, wet and deprived of any action. I feel I need to introduce to my fellow shipmates. I’m a youngster compared to the majority of you, oldies. As before I made the rather long swim I celebrated my 15th birthday.
Understand, I just wrote a two page article listing all of my problems with Halo: Reach, but my inability to click the “save” icon on the top of the page cost me everything. I’m now angry, a little drunk (as I was drinking while I wrote it) and am having to redo it. Now, I didn’t like the game, so the anger wont hurt the rewrite. I also found the game to be so dull that I drank through the second half so (come to think of it) the drinking part shouldn’t really hurt the review either. Okay, I’m gonna try and list why I didn’t like the game in a few, easy to read paragraphs.
Why in God’s name is Hollywood doing this to me? I used to love my childhood memories. Sitting around on Saturday morning, eating a big bowl of my favorite cereal, in charge of the remote because I the oldest (and the meanest) all the while allowing my mind to be shaped by animated characters. Now Hollywood has pretty much killed of all original ideas and has set its sights on those precious memories.
I used to watch Yogi Bear and the Smurfs and laugh at what I thought passed for jokes at that time. Now these are being made into live action movies. If they turn out to be as mentally scarring as the Marmaduke and Garfield movies, my childhood will be all but lost. Even a cartoon with a decent premise was messed up so badly that I literally left the theatre and kicked my car tires in frustration. (I’m looking at you, G.I. Joe)
What makes this memory-rape all the more painful is the fact that these evil bastards appear to be purposefully skipping some of the greatest cartoons of the 80’s. So, without further adieu, here is my list of the top three cartoons that should be given a live action treatment.
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe