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Mar
05/11
The Eagle (Movie Review)
Last Updated on Monday, 7 March 2011 01:02
Written by David
Saturday, March 5th, 2011

Here’s a little history for those who feel that the internet ought to be about education. In approximately 100 A.D. the 9th Roman Legion went to north Britanica (what is now Scottland) for further expanse and conquest, but was never heard from again. There…..now that we got that out of the way, let us get to the rewiew. Using this fact as a working background, Channing Tatum (who stared in the illustrious Step Up and the impecable G.I. Joe) stars as Marcus LongNamicus Romanisus, the son of the General of the missing 9th Legion. With his families name dishonored, he is promoted to Centurian (a leader of a garrison of men) and chooses as his assignment, North Britain and the Hadrian Wall. It is here that he seeks to reclaim his families glory with heroic deeds and dreamy eyes. Thankfully, we don’t have to wait long to watch him get a shot with either.

This is where we insert the first of what has become a staple of Hollywoods action scenes. A lot of hand to hand combat, filmed up close with unanchored cameras. I know this is to try and give us a feeling of being in the heat of the moment, but it just gives me a headache and gives the fight coreographer the day off. (“Ok guys when the camera gets close, just throw punches and wiggle wildly.”) Anyway, in an attempt to save the life of his men, Marcus is wounded and is soon discharged from the army. It is during his recovery that we meet Esca played well by Jamie Bell (who turned in a powerful performance opposite Daniel Craig in Defiance). Esca is a purchased slave who vows a life-debt to Marcus due to Marcus’s mind-control over an unruly crowd.

When a rumor from the north that the 9th’s Standard (A Gold Eagle) has been seen after 20 years, our young Marcus takes his newly aquired slave and seeks to reclaim his father’s Standard and his families honor. Now it’s just him and his British born slave who must face harsh travel, bad weather and poor dental plans all the while testing the bounds of honor and loyalty. Throw in a couple of cameo’s by Mark Strong, and you’ve got yourself an action film that will draw you in and keep you in your seat for it’s entire running time. If you’re looking for a movie to see with the guys, this would work. If you want a movie to see with the wife or girlfriend (just make sure it’s on different nights) then it works here too. Solid acting, good story and only a few “Hollywood” moments have this movie working in the right direction. A solid 4/5 ships.

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Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,   |  Posted under Front Page, Movies  |  Comments  1 Comment
Feb
22/11
NGP vs 3DS (A British Tale)
Last Updated on Tuesday, 22 February 2011 12:43
Written by David
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

Well with the new news of the PSP2/NGP/Next Generation Portable/Neo Geo Portable (Sony do need one name) and the 3DS I aim to shed my opinion on which looks to be the better portable in the nest generation. First off the 3DS seems to be going for another ‘innovation’ by Nintendo. As the screen as I’m sure you all know supports glasses free, 3D. This may seem great and hassle free but it does have some issues and seems more as gimmick than a feature. Because there have been reports from the lucky few that have played, that after around 30 minutes of 3D play they experienced some headaches. But luckily the 3DS supports a slider so you can change the 3D affect down to not being on at all. Also do we really need 3D as you will need to be at a specific angle for the 3D to work, so as the system is meant to be possible it may be jarring when playing it on a bus and you go over a bump. Sonic may suddenly disappear from view. Another negative point is that the battery life is reported at a meagre 3-5 hours. Which may mean that over long hauls the 3DS will be unplayable. But it’s not all doom and gloom with the 3DS. As it appears to have a massive amount of prestigious third – party developers behind it, including; Activision, Atlus, Capcom, EA, Gameloft, Harmonix, Konami, Level-5, Majesco, Namco, Sega, Square Enix, Take-Two Interactive , THQ, Ubisoft, Warner Bros. Not a small or shabby list and I’m sure many great games will be created. Finally the price of the 3DS may be bigger than the Wii but still is cheap in retrospect at around £160 – 200. The 3DS also sports many other features this is just a summary.

On the other Hand the PSP2/NGP/Next Generation Portable/Neo Geo Portable (Sony do need one name!) is going with PS3 quality graphics featuring also a touch pad on the back, imagine the uses of that! Shame there’s no rumble. On serious note it does look very impressive and it has two freakin thumb sticks, which stick out. Though I do fear they may be damaged when shoved into your cavernous pocket, and it will need to be cavernous due to the PSP2/NGP/Next Generation Portable/Neo Geo Portable (Sony do need one name!!) screen size. But I do fear that battery life may be even worse than the 3DS’s. As a portable PS3 can’t be easy on the batteries. With it’s 5 inch OLED screen. Also whether it will sell may be another issue as the Price has been rumoured to be around £250 – £350. Which is around the same as a brand new Xbox 360. So as you can see it’s a close fight and I feel one that will be only answered in the coming months. Also on another note my competition from my last article is still open. And finally if you would like to hear my sombre tones listen to the bananacast on the Sarcastic Gamers Community cast Feed.

Little Shippy Out.

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Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Posted under Front Page, Video Games  |  Comments  1 Comment
Jan
24/11
New Crewbie
Last Updated on Thursday, 17 February 2011 07:18
Written by David
Monday, January 24th, 2011

Well here I am. After a long tiring swim from the rainy shores of England I have finally made it to Talkingship’s fleet. I may be tired, wet and deprived of any action. I feel I need to introduce to my fellow shipmates. I’m a youngster compared to the majority of you, oldies. As before I made the rather long swim I celebrated my 15th birthday.

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Rating: 4.1/5 (7 votes cast)
Tags: , , , , ,   |  Posted under Front Page, Rants, Video Games  |  Comments  3 Comments
Sep
20/10
Review : Halo Reach
Last Updated on Monday, 20 September 2010 09:04
Written by David
Monday, September 20th, 2010

Are they standing on the sun?

Understand, I just wrote a two page article listing all of my problems with Halo: Reach, but my inability to click the “save” icon on the top of the page cost me everything. I’m now angry, a little drunk (as I was drinking while I wrote it) and am having to redo it. Now, I didn’t like the game, so the anger wont hurt the rewrite. I also found the game to be so dull that I drank through the second half so (come to think of it) the drinking part shouldn’t really hurt the review either. Okay, I’m gonna try and list why I didn’t like the game in a few, easy to read paragraphs.

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Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Tags:   |  Posted under Front Page, Video Games  |  Comments  3 Comments
Sep
15/10
Why Are They Raping My Childhood?
Last Updated on Wednesday, 15 September 2010 01:09
Written by David
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Why in God’s name is Hollywood doing this to me? I used to love my childhood memories. Sitting around on Saturday morning, eating a big bowl of my favorite cereal, in charge of the remote because I the oldest (and the meanest) all the while allowing my mind to be shaped by animated characters. Now Hollywood has pretty much killed of all original ideas and has set its sights on those precious memories.

I used to watch Yogi Bear and the Smurfs and laugh at what I thought passed for jokes at that time. Now these are being made into live action movies. If they turn out to be as mentally scarring as the Marmaduke and Garfield movies, my childhood will be all but lost.  Even a cartoon with a decent premise was messed up so badly that I literally left the theatre and kicked my car tires in frustration. (I’m looking at you, G.I. Joe)

Hollywood + Excellent Villian = Plastic Vader Fail

What makes this memory-rape all the more painful is the fact that these evil bastards appear to be purposefully skipping some of the greatest cartoons of the 80’s. So, without further adieu, here is my list of the top three cartoons that should be given a live action treatment.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe


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Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)