Thanksgiving Movie – For REAL!

Eli Roth directed and starred in the fake trailer for Thanksgiving and has recently revealed that this silly trailer is going to be his next project.Read More

Movie Review : Piranha 3D

Replace Teeth with Teets and the poster is still true

As a busy father of two young girls, I have very little time to go to the theater to see movies that aren’t filled with talking animals or wizards named Harry.  Most of my movie watching happens at home, in my recliner, on the big screen HDTV.  I’m normally content with this, but every so often a film comes out that I feel the need to see with a hundred other people in an uncomfortable seat after having spent too much money on candy that I didn’t even really want, all while sipping a titanic sized soda that will inevitably make me have to pee before the movie’s over.  Yay for theaters.  On August 20th, a film swam into theaters that seemed worth one of these rare excursions: Piranha 3D!

This is a B-Movie in every sense of the phrase, and the saving grace is that it knows it. The plot can be fully explained in a single, short sentence: Earthquake releases Mesolithic Piranha into a spring break lake.  Boom – there you have it.  You need to know nothing else, and every other plot detail you discover will only serve to bore you.  You won’t care about the characters or their arcs.  In fact,  your interest in the characters of Piranha 3D will be limited to only a question of their life span, which is exactly as it should be.  One of the biggest problems with the movie is that it tries to convince you the characters DO matter by spending an inordinate amount of time with them, but we’ll get into that more later.

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DVD Review: A Single Man

This was not what I was expecting, nor a movie I usually watch on my own, yet it was one of the most moving films I’ve seen all year.Read More

Movie Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Epic Movie Poster!

Before you read any further, I feel you need to know that I waited for half an hour to get into a midnight showing of this movie. I’m a fan of the Scott Pilgrim comics and will be getting the video-game as soon as it releases on the Xbox Marketplace. That said, I’ll try to be as unbiased and straight with you as I can in this review………………………………….

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Movie Review: The Other Guys

I wonder what conditioner they use? Their hair is so perfect.

If you appreciate comedy at all, you’ve already heard about this movie. If your religious beliefs forbid you from laughing, let me fill you in. Mark Walberg and Will Farrell star as two cops whose careers are not where they were hoping they would be.  Constantly subjected to the ridicule of the other detectives, including the balls-to-the-wall hot shots played by Dewayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson, they’re just trying to get by. The previews show a straight-shooting Mark Walberg trying to deal with a less-than-normal Will Farrell and hilarity ensues. Question is, is it worth your time?

Ok, first of all I’ve got to get this out of the way. This entire movie is less-than-normal. Everyone is a satire on what they’re supposed to be, and the few characters that are supposed to be straight-laced come off looking like they’re in the wrong film. That being said, it’s a great “buddy cop” movie. The dialogue is very funny and I found myself laughing the hardest whenever Mark and Will were fighting. There is an exceptional argument concerning Lions and Tuna that almost made me leak a lttle of the cherry-coke I had been enjoying.

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Star Wars Blu-Ray 2011

George Lucas announced, while being interviewed by Jon Stewart of The Daily Show, that they will be releasing all six Star Wars films on Blu-Ray next year.Read More

Review : The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Make this live action? What can miss?

I’m not sure what to think of Nicholas Cage. He’ll put out a fairly average family-adventure movie (National Treasure) that my wife and I can watch in the same room without groaning at the others choice.  Then he’ll crank out a few steaming piles of shit (Wicker Man, Bangkok Dangerous) that make me all but give up on him. Then when I’m not looking, he’ll drop a monster of a performance on me (Kick Ass) and make me worship him yet again. I swear I need Lithium when I go to his films because he causes me to act bipolar.

Thank you Jon Turteltaub for making me believe again. Thank you for bringing back a Nicholas that my wife and I can enjoy together. Thank you for taking a musical cartoon about a lazy mouse with a penchant for fucking with janitorial tools and crafting a movie that I would be willing to pay to see again.

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Netflix Instant’s New Partner

Netflix just finalized a deal with Paramount, MGM, and LionsgateRead More

Trailer : Centurion

Centurion is about a group of Roman soldiers that are hiding behind enemy lines after their squad is decimated by a barbarian attack.Read More

The X-Men First Class Death Knell

He said this in a recent interview with the LA Times when asked about the genre he is currently directing in: “It’s been mined to death and in some cases the quality control is not what it’s supposed to be.  People are just going to get bored of it.”

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