'The Flange'

Where Am I? Why Am I Here?

This is the big one. If you are in a rock band and haven’t played at Donington Park, you haven’t made it yet. Previously known as Monsters of Rock, this festival has become the must play venue of any band’s career. This year up to 100,000 people from across the globe descended onto the water soaked fields of the English countryside to drink and bounce in unison to some of the biggest bands in rock history, the Earth is about to get pounded. Now in it’s tenth year, Download has become a massive event covering 3 days, housing 4 stages and offering music from 100+ bands. But first…

A fraction of this years crowd.

…I Have Some Beef.

Like all major events in the UK, everything is expensive. You can take in your own alcohol into the camping areas but, you have to buy whatever piss they pass as a beer in the arena. Firstly though you have to buy tokens, which to be honest, does speed up the process of obtaining a beer. However, each beer costs a gut wrenching £4 a pint (approx $6)! Food is even more expensive, where a simple re-fried, poor excuse for a burger, with cheese, will set you back £4.50! If you want something with taste like a giant Yorkshire pudding with mash, gravy and beef, get ready to hand over a whooping £7! I can deal with the ticket cost, £190 for 5 nights camping and entrance to the arena I think is good value but, they seemed to have made some cut backs by leaving out some of the porta-loo cleaning staff which I think are necessary. Monday morning before we left the site, BodsterBug really needed to go number 2, again. He came back to us a moment later with a grim look on his face, the waste was piled up to the level of the toilet seat in all the cabins! The McDonalds we stopped at on the way home felt the full force of his mighty arse, and so did the next person’s nose.

Too many is never enough!

I also feel that they are trying to squeeze far too many people into the arena now. The camping numbers can’t go up, there is no room for them but, they are increasing the number of day tickets sold. I overheard a DJ from the Download radio station; it took 5 hours to travel 12 miles into the festival site. This can’t continue Download (I think it’s Live Nation who organises the event)! Your greed is making people miserable (I know, it’s nothing new).

I’m Never Alone

I want to give a quick thanks to my friends I spent the weekend with at Download. Because a lot of my friends have VW campervans I’m always able to pitch my tent with them which saves me a lot of hassle. In 2008 I attended my first festival and we didn’t have a campervan pitch. This meant a long, long walk from the car park (a field) to the campsite (another field, obviously). If I had to guess I would say it was at least a mile but, with all your camping gear on your back it feels like 5 miles plus a second trip for the beer. Crime is common place in the campsite, every year you hear stories of campers being robbed in their sleep and in 2008 BodsterBug had his money stolen. To all those assholes that attend festivals just to steal from people, fuck you, if I caught you, I wouldn’t think twice before I dislocated your fingers so badly that you wouldn’t be able masturbate again! So a big thank you goes out to BodsterBug, The Flange (she cooked a lovely pasta meal), Wigley, Wheeler, Fran and Mark (they also provided some awesome home made chilli).

The new Avengers movie does not look good!

I always disappear in the arena so I can see the bands I came to see, but I always look forward to meeting up back at the campsite to sit, drink and talk about the amazing time we had that day. How close we got to the stage, what crap food we consumed and of course how many pairs of boobies we saw (The Flange refused to shows hers off to BodsterBug’s disappointment).

There Will Be Mud

It rained, it had been raining for some time. I knew the green, green grass of the surrounding areas were going to quickly turn into a thick brown paste, but even the Download crew couldn’t foresee the mess the rain would create. The arena was due to open at midday on Friday, but unfortunatley the gates remained closed until 2pm. A few bands were cancelled and a few were rearranged to play later on. People moaned about the disorganisation but if the arena wasn’t safe then it needed to be sorted out. If someone was killed because of the state of the ground or unsafe signage falling (winds were especially strong also), the weekend would have been a disaster. However, as the weekend progressed the rain held off and the mud slowly disappeared (in the arena anyway).

Um, the guy you're screwing, can't breathe!

Of course the British weather is predictably unpredictable. Sunday was warm and mostly sunny. My skin is currently on fire while outside the rain and cold has returned. Does it make life more interesting? No, I still fucking hate this country’s bullshit climate!

In Part 2 I will talk about the bands, I promise, but until then, keep those horns in the air!

Little did they know, Justin Bieber was on next.