So today is going to be a bit of a picture-fest. It’s been a busy one! Enjoy.
Waking up in a bed, despite the questionable pillow stain, was exactly what I needed. Motivation is at an all time high. It’s Saturday, lets kick this day up the ass! Also, I found out it’s the bug catching competition! Which I plan on winning. I mean it, this is my fucking day today. Tom Nook can strip me of everything but my spirit! Money isn’t everything, Nook! One day you will learn that the hard way. I’m playing the long game. You’ll only know it’s coming when it hits you square between the eyes. Sleep with one eye open, old friend.
So yeah…BUGS! This weird fucking Gecko rocked up and told me there were big prizes on offer if I caught him some badass Arthropods.
With that in mind I caught myself a couple of butterflies and handed them in to our lizard-like friend. He seemed pretty enamoured by them so I figured that was good enough. In fact, one of my butterflies was so good, I won a prize straight away. I was gifted a toilet! I’ve been holding it in for 2 days so you can imagine my relief! (That’s not strictly true. I took a dump in Alfonso’s rose bush. Please don’t tell him! We’re bros!) But yeah, a brand new toilet! Look, here I am having a shit!
Holy shit, I almost forgot! I made a new town flag! Brotown is officially open for business!
The bug competition was great, the new town flag boosted morale and it was nice to finally be able to deposit human waste in a clean and hygienic manner, but I did feel like I had to make today extra special. It was Saturday and I had to make it memorable. So, with a fresh bag filled with essentials, I headed to the train station to venture on to far and foreign lands. A short break from Brotown to allow me to clear my head and forget about my current financial woes. Nook will pay me, one day.
The train arrived and I stepped into someone else’s town for the first time. I was greeted by a friendly crew who seemed chirpy enough. We even got a group photo together.
I got us to write “HI” in the ground by shovelling dirt. Teamwork!
However, it didn’t take long before things took a turn for the worse. Human conflict soon got in the way and unfortunately marred what was turning into a very pleasant day.
It all went wrong.
I mean REALLY wrong.
OK, THAT’S WRONG ENOUGH! THIS IS A CHILDREN’S GAME!
Enough of this filth! I had to revolt. All of a sudden, my true feelings burst from me. A bit like the original 2 girls 1 cup video. Y’know…with the bursting…yeah, ok I’ll stop. Anyway. I rioted.
Things soon calmed down and we went back to fishing and bug catching. I even caught a Hammerhead shark! I was having so much fun I honestly didn’t realise how much fucking money I was making. Catching fish all day with friends can net you a fortune! (Excuse the pun) I was swimming in money! (Apologies again)
Eventually, the good times had to end. It was reaching early evening and I had to be back in time for the bug catching contest finale. I arrived back in Brotown feeling revitalised after my day out. Oh, and guess what? I FUCKING WON!
Oh, and all that money I made? Well I’ll leave you with this image!
Today has been long and tiring, but most of all, FUN! The moral? “Persevere and you will come out on top of any shitty little raccoon who thinks he owns you”
You hear that kids? Heed that advice.
Until tomorrow, bros!
Mayor of Brotown.
Ps. Big shout out to the Bros I was playing with today. Follow ‘um on twitter! @YJB_Reviews and @iaindude