The Expendables 2 Will Be PG-13

Stallone loves the kiddos

The first Expendables sucked. Sorry to be a downer, but I’d rather watch reels of hotel implosions than sit through Sylvester’s action opus again. However, it seems some folks liked that movie because of all the cool booms and stuff. They liked the violence, explosions, blood, and machismo so much that Sylvester Stone was able to make a sequel.

And that sequel will be PG-13.

WHAT?!?! Are you serious? The only possible enjoyment a human being could glean from the first movie was the violence. Why would you temper that in the sequel? Well, apparently it wasn’t the violence that was an issue, it was the cursing. That’s fucking stupid.

From what I’ve been able to dig up, the problems came from Chuck Norris’ involvement. They really wanted him in the movie, but he had an issue with the vulgarity in the script. He agreed to be in the movie only if they took the vulgarity out. Because, clearly, hearing the word, “Shit” is much worse on our collective psyche than seeing a person’s head explode. Thanks for saving our humanity, Chuck!

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