The brilliant Daniel O’Connor has created the hilarious website “What The Fuck Is My Wearable Strategy”, which will randomly generate an idea for a wearable product. The results are brilliant: some more than others. We’ve collected 10 of our favourites here.
“T-SHIRT THAT POSTS TO MEDIUM WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF MILK”. Can you imagine it? A constant stream of auto-generated Medium posts complaining about a lack of milk for their cereal. Magical.
“YVES BEHAR’S ON THE PHONE, HE’S HEARD ABOUT YOUR FUCKING PAIR OF GLASSES THAT POSTS TO MEDIUM WHEN YOU LEAVE THE IRON ON. LET ME BE YOUR FUCKING CMO, WE’LL BE MILLIONAIRES IN 12 MONTHS.” Genius, and very safety-conscious!
“PAIR OF EARBUDS THAT CHIMES WHEN IT’S WINDY. I KNOW A VC WHO WILL BE FUCKING WELL IN TO THAT.” Would certainly add an extra dimension to your music.
“UMBRELLA THAT TEXTS YOUR MOM WHEN IT’S WINDY.” Gotta get that family contact in.
“WRISTBAND THAT TURNS THE CENTRAL HEATING ON WHEN YOU FALL ASLEEP ON THE NIGHTBUS. GET THAT FUCKING SHIT ON SEEDRS.” Just what I need: a warm house when I’m not at home. THE FUTURE!
“HANDBAG THAT INSTAGRAMS A SELFIE WHEN THE CAT NEEDS FEEDING. GET THE FUCKING KICKSTARTER PAGE UP.” I just…yes. Make this right now.
“T-SHIRT THAT TEXTS YOUR MOM WHEN YOU’VE GOT A HANGOVER.” The logistics baffle me, but the idea is superb.
“I SHIT YOU NOT, I’VE GOT A PROTOTYPE OF A FUCKING PAIR OF SANDALS THAT TEXTS YOUR MOM WHEN GEORGE OSBORNE CRIES. I’LL CALL AN EMERGENCY MEETUP.” Correct: I need my mother to know every time the Chancellor of the Exchequer bursts into tears, and sandals are the best way of doing this. 10/10.
“TIME TO QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB, I JUST MADE A FUCKING HANDBAG THAT SELF DESTRUCTS WHEN YOU BURN 100 CALORIES.” Reverse incentives?
“CALL ROBERT SCOBLE, I JUST INVENTED A FUCKING SMARTPILL THAT UNLOCKS YOUR COMPUTER WHEN THERE’S 10% OFF AT ASOS.” Best security mechanism ever.
Generate more wearable ideas on the website here, and post your favourites in the comments below.