Since the age of 17, I have abused my liver and taste buds with Foster’s and other concoctions that have been described as beer. No more. Thanks to Talkingship I’ve finally taken the plunge into the world of delicious ales.

An innocent fresh fish hunt at the nearby supermarket turned into a long staring contest where the most amusing named beer would make it into my basket. Four made it in and many, many more will soon follow as I seek out and taste new glorious pastures. I will try and describe the taste, words may be invented by myself to achieve this, I will not however be describing the smell as years of smoking and exposure to my flatmate’s bathroom deposits have left that sense useless. I better get on and show you what I have as the beer is being consumed and my hand, brain co-ordination is quickly deteriorating.

Humdinger

This is the first one tried and interested me the most. ‘Ale with a hint of honey’ written on the bottle immediately caught my eye. Brewed in Manchester by the Joseph Holt brewery it’s described as a ‘Great refreshing ale with subtle undertones of honey. Brewed with a blend of the finest English malt, Mexican aroma honey and citrus flavoured whole hops to provide a rounded, tongue tingling taste with exciting aroma’. I could definitely taste the honey, no question, and also it seemed to have the consistency but the Humdinger poured no differently to any other ale. It was lovely but after a while I started to notice something else, the aftertaste. It was bitter, very bitter. It had an undertone of bile. I gave it a second chance and purchased a second one and this time the bitterness had toned down. My explanation for this is that my taste buds are adjusting and will continue to adjust and so my first glass of ale was a success.  If you can get hold of this, I recommend it, it goes well with beef steak.

Butcombe & Piddle in the Hole

I’m not going to say too much about these two. They are both bitter ales and not particularly interesting. The Butcombe bitter is far too dry for my taste and that’s about all I can say about it, bitter, dry and a little flat. It has ‘Award Winning’ on the label so someone must like it. The Piddle in the Hole is a little easier on my pallet, brewed locally to me by the Wyre Piddle brewery in Worcestershire (yes there is a place called that). Again it’s bitter but not so dry and on the bottle we are treated (I think) to a little rhyme: ‘Upton Snodsbury, Peopleton and Crowle, Wyre Piddle, North Piddle and Piddle in the Hole’. Makes me think of Hobbiton.

Franziskaner Weissbier

I saved the best till last. I can’t remember why I picked this up, most likely because I’ve destroyed those brain cells, but I’m damn sure glad I did. When I first poured this into the glass I assumed this was a cloudy lager, no, this is a wheat beer. I had to do some research as I cannot read German and everything that is written on the bottle is in German. This is a joy to drink, I can actually smell this ale which is quite an achievement, the aroma of fruit and wine gums is very inviting. There is zero bitterness and you get a lovely undertone of toffee, banana and what I can only describe is a tingle on your tongue you only get from eating sherbet. Normally I’m left bloated from the gaseous crap served at bars but not with this little beauty, smaller bubbles FTW.

I can see myself trying out a lot of German wheat beers from now on and I fear for my job as a delivery driver. Now if you will excuse me I need to stumble back to the supermarket and buy more. I love you *hick* Nerves *hick*.