Rage Meter Currently At 8 of 10

Let us take a moment to marvel at the employees that Airlines choose to hire.

The Check In Counter : I have never met a Check In Attendant that I liked.  Let me preface that by saying that I HAVE met curbside Check In Attendants that I loved, but they are smoozing for tips and thus have a greater need to be civil.  This rule does not apply to any curbside check in counter that prominently displays signs demanding a minimum tip of a $1 per bag. 

When you venture inside the terminal to check in, take a good look around you because I’d be willing to bet this is what the waiting line for hell looks like.  Sweaty, angry people who are dreading what they are heading into. 

You are surrounded by people that are worried they are going to miss their flight, so they are eager to move every inch forward in line that they can at every opportunity, which of course means everyone has to gather the 8 different containers of shit they think they need for their trip (who brings a golf bag, a hockey stick, three suit cases, a baby stroller, and a guitar with them on a trip?  And BTW, Where the fuck is the BABY that goes with that stroller?) and drag it forward three, maybe four inches, then stop, drop their shit, pant a little, and immediately pick it all back up to skirt forward yet again when the line inches onward. 

By the time you make it to the counter you discover that there is a new computer system that the airline just installed that makes your check in “easier.”  However, their definition of easier must be: “This fucking thing never works right,” because everyone around you will be having a problem and will require the assistance of a Check In Attendant.  Yet there are far fewer attendants than seems reasonable because this new computer system is supposed to make everything work SO MUCH SMOOTHER.  This throws everything into utter turmoil.

Remember, EVERYONE is in a hurry, and the looming dread of a possible hour long trip through security is weighing on the cattle’s (passenger’s) nerves.  This creates a vicious game of, “I’m Next.  Me, Here.  Not Him, ME.” with people waving their home-computer printed flight info in the air to get someone’s attention.   The person they are beckoning must have been hired for their hatred of humanity, as evidenced by the looks they give.  A 20 year veteran of a cattle processing plant couldn’t be this nonchalant about doing their job.  They make it very clear, very quickly that you are not a priority.

Here is a conversation I GUARANTEE you will hear at the counter somewhere near you.

Attendant: “You should have planned to be here at least an hour early.”

Passenger: “I was.  I’ve been standing in line for an hour.”

Attendant: “You should have planned for that, sir, and left earlier.”

Passenger: “When should I have left to get here?  Last Thursday?”

Here’s an idea: Make these fuckers work off tips like the curb side guys do.  Maybe then we’ll see them at least TRY to be nice when they are telling the grandmother with an airtank and gauze wrapped around her head that she’s not going to make her flight to see her grandkids and might have to wait seven hours for the next available stand-by position.

Rage Meter Holding Steady at 8 of 10