Star Wars 3D

September 29, 2010 | Jitterbug 6

Han Solo’s asshole is hemorrhaging.  George Lucas is at it again, plumbing the depths of his goldmine for another filthy bounty, but this time his raping will be in glorious 3D!  That’s right – Lucas is converting the entire Star Wars franchise into 3D and rereleasing them starting in 2012.

The 3D revolution is in full swing, and Hollywood has clamped onto it with a fervor.  Films like Avatar have shown us that when a film embraces the 3D from the start, the results can be captivating – although it does zero for the storyline.  However, the rush to capitalize on this fad has produced several poor quality conversions that have served to hurt the original film.  Take the recent remake of Clash of the Titans for example.  Clearly this was never going to be an Oscar contender and simply wanted a taste of your summer movie dollars, but the decision to retrofit the film with 3D caused the final print to come out dark and blurry.  The Last Airbender suffered a similar issue, although the real problem with that movie was a certain director whose name now only induces groans from movie goers.  Still, despite the proof that retrofitting is a bad idea, Hollywood is charging ahead.

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