I’m not sure what brains taste like, but they must be tasty, because there are a shit load of people coming back from the dead just to eat them!  I would bet good money that there are more zombie flicks then any other horror movie cliche out there, and I’m going to give you my top ten.

10 – Zombie (aka Zombi 2, Island of the Living Dead, Zombie Flesh Eaters)

Zombie (1979)

This movie made the director, Lucio Fulci, a horror movie icon.  Oddly, in Italy, where it was made, it was called Zombi 2 and was billed as a sequel to Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, which was titled Zombi in Italy.  This is despite the fact that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with Romero’s movie.

It is astounding to me that this movie is as famous as it is.  Let me warn you, this is not a great movie – the production value is crap, the plot is worse, and the effects are laughable at times. However, there is an unexplainable appeal for horror fans to be had here. There are two scenes in particular that all horror fans owe it to themselves to see. The first is an underwater scene that is so unique it deserves to be seen. It starts with a woman deciding that she needs to go scuba diving in the nude – for real. There’s no real explanation as to why she is doing this, and everyone else on the boat seems as dumbfounded by it as the audience is, but far be it from me to complain about gratuitous nudity.  However, the breasts aren’t the reason you need to see this. While diving, the woman is attacked by a zombie. It’s interesting, but easily outdone by the infamous movie, Zombie Lake, in which an entire team of volleyball co-eds are attacked by a pack of angry Nazi Zombies while swimming nude.  That being said, this movie gets it’s award for what happens next.  The diver escapes just as a tiger shark comes into frame.  Next, the Zombie begins fighting the shark, eventually biting it in an attempt to eat it. Seriously, where else are you going to see a zombie fight a shark?

The Eye-Gouge Scene

The second must-see scene is an eye gouge that has become infamous in horror circles. For a movie that has such a low budget, this scene is pretty brutal. A woman is showering when she hears something outside.  She puts on a towel and goes to investigate only to discover that a Zombie is trying to get in the door. She scurries to block the door when the zombie busts through. He grabs her by the hair and starts pulling her towards the door and her eye is gouged out by a splintered piece of wood.  It is viscous to say the least.

If you are a zombie fan, this is one of those movies you have to see.  It isn’t going to make it to the top of your all time favorites, but it’s good enough, and classic enough, to warrant a rental at least.  It is currently available on Netflix Instant Watch, so get over there and watch it today.  The zombie shark scene alone is worth your time.

9. Zombieland

Great start, weak end

Anyone who has been listening to the podcast for a while now knows that I have mixed feelings about this movie.  It is far better than most other zombie films out there, and it comes really close to being one of my favorites of all time.  However, the last thirty minutes are so frustratingly formulaic and bad that it nearly ruins it for me.

For the first half of the film we are treated to an apocalyptic setting in which the main character has created a list of rules to help him survive the onslaught of zombies.  During his travels he encounters a wandering madman played perfectly by Woody Harrelson.  I love everything about the first half of this movie, then things start to fall apart.

They meet the two female characters who initially take advantage of them, but later become part of the crew, and there is a classic cameo by an actor that I’m not going to reveal here.  It is after this that it really falls apart, all leading up to a final confrontation at an amusement park that frustrates the hell out of me.  There’s no good reason for the girls to go to this park, it only serves to facilitate the final battle, and everything becomes so silly and formulaic that it damn near destroys the movie – but I can’t deny that the first half is great.

8. The Serpent and the Rainbow

Childhood creep out

This movie creeped me the fuck out as a kid. The poster alone scared me, then when I saw it I wasn’t disappointed.  As an adult, I recognize that this isn’t a top notch movie – the effects are silly, the plot is wildly goofy, and the acting is hammed up, but damn if I still don’t have a special place in my horror-heart for this one.

One of the reasons this movie got so much notice when it was released is that it was touted as being a true story. A scientist went down to Haiti to research the zombie phenomenon that has been going on down there for centuries. It is claimed that voodoo priests can turn people into zombies, and everyone out there believes in this whole heartedly.  Of course, the movie is NOT a true story, but the marketing of it as ‘based on a true story” made it that much creepier.

The truth is, there is a poison that can be made using parts of a blowfish that can cause a person to fall unconscious and appear to be dead. Voodoo priests then bury the bodies and dig them up to convince the victim they are now zombies.  The movie takes this idea and turns it on its head, putting the actor, Bill Pullman, through pure hell as he confronts the voodoo priest that is doing this to people.

There are a lot of creepy scenes in this movie, but expect to be disappointed by the final few scenes as the movie tries to go out on a high note.  There is a lot of weird stuff involving dreams and possession and other craziness, but I can forgive all of it by how creepy the ‘buried alive’ parts from earlier in the movie were.

7. Dawn of the Dead remake

A good remake!

This one is unique. I am not a fan of remakes, and you can usually guarantee that any time Hollywood is taking a classic movie and redoing it the results are going to suck. Not this time.

Zack Snyder, the director of 300, started his career with this film. He took the original classic by George Romero and added just the right amount of flair to create a perfect remake. Add a great cast and a few nice twists and you have a remake that comes pretty damn close to being as good as the original.

One of the things that Snyder changed about this remake is the way it starts. I am a fan of how Romero throws the viewer directly into the action in the original movie, but Snyder decided to take a much different approach.  In this film, the main character, played perfectly by Sarah Polley, is living a nice suburban life when she is assaulted by a child! Everything about the first ten minutes of this movie is horror movie perfection.

The only complaint I have are with the scenes involving the baby zombie. Mekhi Phifer plays a man whose pregnant wife is succumbing to the zombie virus just before giving birth. Upon delivery we discover the baby is already a zombie, and it gives us some scenes that are unforgettable, but unfortunately pretty goofy. Take those scenes out  and it would have made it higher on my list.  Even so, this is a zombie classic!

6. Night of the Living Dead

They're coming to get you, Barbara!

George Romero finally makes it onto the list that exists because of him.  Romero created this genre of film with this, his first movie.

This is a gory film even by today’s standards, despite the fact that it is in black and white, but when it was released in 1968 it was light years ahead of it’s time in terms of blood and guts. The zombies are downright scary, and the meat that they sit there and gnaw on is disgusting. The movie is filmed in a gritty style that lends to the authenticity, making it one of the best low-budget movies ever made.

While the gore is entertaining, Romero did something that most horror-movie-makers seem to utterly bypass; he gave it a plot. While most horror films are made only to serve as disgusting, visual stimulation, this movie proves that viewers need more then just gore to convince them a movie is great. The secret of Night of the Living Dead is the true horror doesn’t come from the creatures. While the zombies provide plenty of scares, the real devils are the people themselves.

As the group of survivors barricade themselves inside of a house we begin to realize that they are just as evil, if not more-so, then the monsters they are trying to keep out.  The social commentary in this movie is what makes it great, the brain eating creatures bursting through the doors is only the backdrop to what is really going on. Don’t let the age, budget, or lack of color deter you from seeing this movie. It deserves all the respect it has been given over the years.

5. 28 Days Later

Scary as hell

28 Days Later is by far the scariest movie to make it onto this list. It is downright terrifying.

Director Danny Boyle, who gave us such great and disparate films as Trainspotting, Slumdog Millionaire, and Shallow Grave (a tremendous, little-known movie that you should definitely see) decided to take a different route with his zombie film. First, you could certainly make a good argument that this doesn’t qualify as a zombie movie as it is all about a disease that causes people to act like zombies – but isn’t that practically the same damn thing? Well, there is another big difference between this movie and your average zombie flick – these mother fuckers can RUN! And that makes all the difference.

George Romero has publicly denounced this film and all others (including the Dawn of the Dead remake) that allow their zombies to run.  He claims that rotting corpses would not have the muscle strength to allow them to run.  Georgey… pal… seriously? I’ve got two things to say about that. 1 – Not enough muscles strength to RUN, but enough muscle strength to bust through barricaded doors and windows and strong enough to out wrestle grown men and women?! 2 – The zombies in your later films learn to use weapons.  Not just sticks and stones, but fucking rocket launchers.  You lose this argument.

28 Days Later is a terrifyingly tense thriller and, like Night of the Living Dead, it is not just telling a story about brain eating creatures.  There is a lot more going on here then just the basic scares.

One interesting side note about this movie is that it very closely resembles an obscure old sci fi movie called Day of the Triffids which is currently being remade by director, Sam Raimi.

4. Dead Alive

Damn fine custard

This is my second favorite film to appear on this list (my favorite is number 3.)  It is the movie that made Peter Jackson famous, and he deserves a lot more respect for this then anything else he has ever done.

This movie happily declares itself the goriest film ever made, and it deserves that distinction.  It fucking EARNS it every step of the way. While it is bloody as hell, I think the comedic value of what is happening is enough to keep you from being disgusted by what you are seeing. That goes for everything except the custard scene, which still makes me cringe just thinking about it.

While thinking about this movie I have come up with at least five lines that have become a part of my regular dialogue. Lines like, “I kick ass for the Lord” and “Damn fine custard” have become staples of my drunken rants ever since the first time I heard them.  For anyone claiming to be a fan of horror, you can not possibly get any respect until you have seen this movie at least ten times.  If you haven’t met that standard then I suggest you go out and buy this movie right now so that you can get to work.

ZING GAIA!

3. Shaun of the Dead

Care to explain how this isn't number one?!

How in the fuck is this not the number one zombie movie of all time?

I consider this my favorite movie of all the ones appearing on this list, yet it still only makes it to my number three spot.  Before you flog me, let me explain myself.

Shaun of the Dead is a perfect movie. It is funny from beginning to end, and there are scenes that are delightfully gory. The characters are all interesting, with ZERO exceptions. Even his flatmate, who spends the majority of the movie as a wandering, naked zombie, is a good character with memorable lines.  I really can’t find any fault with this film – so why is it only number three?

Because it isn’t a horror movie. As much as I love this film, it’s a comedy. I feel like my top spots have to go to a movie that does a better job of being scary, and this one just makes me laugh.  That being said, it is fucking hilarious. “KILL THE QUEEN!”

2. The Return of the Living Dead

A perfect Horror-Comedy

This is the perfect horror-comedy.

I have a lot of respect for Evil Dead 2 (not on this list because I don’t consider it a Zombie movie), Shaun of the Dead, and Dead Alive, but The Return of the Living Dead is the standout best horror-comedy ever made.

In my opinion, both Shaun of the Dead and Dead Alive focus heavily on the comedy side of the duo – which is fine by me and is the reason I would rank them both as higher on my most favorite movies list, but in a top ten list of movies about a horror genre, I need a few more scares. The Return of the Living Dead does this in such a perfect way that it had to get near-top billing on this list.

First off, the effects are incredible. The shambling skeletal zombie in the basement is my favorite zombie ever committed to film – it succeeds in being scary and funny while at the same time being so incredibly gorgeous to look at that I simply can’t take my eyes off it.  In fact, all of the zombies in this movie look great, even the background creatures that can barely be seen are great.

Add to all of this the fact that this movie features one of the longest nude scenes ever committed to an R rated film, and you will understand why it takes my number 2 spot. Everything in this movie is great, and just writing about it makes me want to go watch it again.

And FINALLY….

1. Dawn of the Dead

Easily #1

Most horror fans could have guessed this would make it to my number one spot.  This is the ultimate zombie movie – and I won’t put up with any arguments.

George Romero started the genre with Night of the Living Dead, and he continues it here. He went on to make Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, and Survival of the Dead, but none of those come anywhere close to the genius of this film.

Things kick off with a military group barging into an apartment complex where an ‘infection’ has turned everyone crazy. This is, of course, the beginning stages of the zombie apocalypse that is taking over the globe. A couple of the military guys group up with a reporter and a cameraman to hijack a helicopter and fly away to safety.

Most horror movies relish the ignorance of their characters by using it to place them in scary situations – the average horror film character is dumb as a rock.  Not here. One of the reasons I love this film so much is that the characters are completely relatable.  They make decisions that are well thought out and sometimes even smarter then what the viewer is thinking.  For instance, this was the movie that introduced the idea of going to a shopping mall in the event of a zombie apocalypse.  That theme has been used again and again in various other films and games now, but this is where it started. The characters land on top of a shopping mall and then bust into the place, utilizing the security system to create a sanctuary filled with everything they need to survive. That’s pretty damn smart of them!  Of course, it wouldn’t be a film if they just sat in the mall staring at zombies outside all day – Romero throws a monkey wrench in their plans by introducing a band of roving wildmen that also want in on the shopping mall action.

Just like he did with Night of the Living Dead, Romero creates a film that is more about the evils of mankind than the undead. It is endlessly entertaining and features the kick-off of a Tom Savini’s career, who created the effects in this movie and went on to become a horror genre super star.

So there you have it. The top ten zombie movies of all time. Have you seen them all? If not, get to work!