What kind of crazy shit do you have to do to get this drunk? A record. A RECORD!

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RAPID CITY, S.D. – South Dakota authorities say a woman found passed out in a stolen delivery van earlier this month registered a blood alcohol content of .708 — nearly nine times the legal limit and a possible record for the state.

Meade County State’s Attorney Jesse Sondreal said Wednesday that 45-year-old Marguerite Engle was found slumped over the van’s steering wheel along a highway on Dec. 1.

He says the highest blood alcohol content state chemists he spoke with could recall was a .56. The state’s legal limit is .08.