Most gamers are familiar with the Xbox 360’s Red Ring of Death. The RRoD claimed the lives of countless units, and tested the mettle of every Microsoft fan as they tried to explain why they continued to support a company that produced a system that was almost guaranteed to massively fail within a couple years of purchase. Because of the pain they suffered during those dark weeks when their Xbox 360 had been shipped off for repairs, Microsoft fans rejoiced when news came from Marc Whitten that the new Xbox One (due out sometime near November, 2013) would not have Red Ring issues.

When explaining the reason the company wasn’t worried about the Red Ring of Death with the new Xbox One, a representative at Microsoft said it all started with the decision not to put red, circular lights on the Xbox One’s display. This key decision is projected to reduce the likelihood of a red ring of flashing lights appearing on the console to near zero.

“I don’t know why it took us so long to figure that one out,” said the representative. “One day we just had one of those light bulb moments, and it changed the direction for the new system.”

The new Xbox One will, however, have some flashing lights on the display, but this time the engineers at Microsoft have wisely changed the shape and color to disassociate them from the infamous RRoD. Instead of the segmented ring of red lights around the power button, the new Xbox One will have a square set of segmented purple lights. The pattern of these lights will be indicative of the hardware issues that the system is suffering, similar to the original purpose of the red ring on the 360.

“When the square starts flashing all purple at you,” said the Microsoft rep, “that’s when you know it’s time to throw the X1 out. With the increasing number of horrible public relations nightmares we’ve had, as well as the sad state of our marketing, it’s really only a matter of time before this system is obsolete. I suspect that in the next few years, we’ll be looking at designing a new system, at which point the Xbox Ones around the world will start flashing their purple squares, and the Microsoft fans will know it’s time to go back to the store and buy a new one.”

When asked if this acquiescence to coming failure by the engineers was worrisome or dispiriting, the Microsoft rep responded, “Well, at least we’re not Nintendo.”