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The Drunk Tank Tell us your stories of drunken revelry!

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  #81  
Old 02-27-2011, 03:46 PM
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Definitely not a bad thing, but it's still an awesome story
On my last night in brussels me and my mate went to a titty bar and I bit a strippers nipple then left. Then we went back because I insisted I had to dance on the stripper pole on the bar. I got a cheer for being so awesome and then shook the hand of all the belgian men and got a kiss from one of the strippers
LASSSHHHYYY. (Also I'm totally only 17 which makes this 2000 times better. It's legal over there don't worry :P)
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  #82  
Old 02-27-2011, 08:21 PM
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I'll be topping that one as soon as I'm 21.
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  #83  
Old 02-28-2011, 01:26 AM
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I'll be topping that one as soon as I'm 21.
Or just go to belgium and do it now :P
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  #84  
Old 03-01-2011, 01:35 AM
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I once was so drunk I got tazed in the ass by a cop who found me with my pants at my ankles as I pissed on his back tire.
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  #85  
Old 03-03-2011, 11:01 AM
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I once was so drunk I got tazed in the ass by a cop who found me with my pants at my ankles as I pissed on his back tire.
And we have got a winner!!!
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I watch my football in HD. I can see every scar on the players, and every make-up covered poc-mark on the face of the sideline reporters. I would have to believe that if I watched a porno in Blu-ray, I'd find myself noticing that pre-cancerous looking mole on that third girl from the left. I just want to see fake bouncing tits, not the surgical scars that put them there.
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  #86  
Old 03-03-2011, 06:13 PM
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I once was so drunk I got tazed in the ass by a cop who found me with my pants at my ankles as I pissed on his back tire.
Is that what you kids call it nowadays?
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  #87  
Old 03-05-2011, 05:44 PM
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I walked out of a bar with my brother (it had closed and locked it's doors) and turned the corner to find a cop car parked in the alley. I had to piss really bad, and my brother encouraged me to pee on the back tire. As I was good and intoxicated, this seemed like a good idea. To make it funnier, I dropped my jeans and boxer-briefs (hanes comfort fit) to my ankles. My brother, being the great lookout that he is, went around the corner and told the cop watching the traffic leave "Hey, some guy is pissing on your car." (Please note, this was happening in Anchorage, Alaska in the month of February. The cop, turned the corner and without a word pulled his tazer and zapped me in the ass. I fell into the snow (and now my piss) and sobered almost immediately. My brother laughed his ass off as the cop allowed me to pull up my pants and stumble to a cab. I had marks on my ass for two weeks.
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  #88  
Old 03-05-2011, 08:50 PM
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Haha your brother is the man!
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  #89  
Old 03-06-2011, 06:36 AM
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Well, though it doesn't top farva's post, I have a similar post. When I was in the Navy my ship changed homeport from San Diego, CA to Bremerton, WA (right across the sound from Seattle. Well when we went up there everyone from the area swore up and down that it would rarely snow on that side of the mountains. Sure enough, we got up there in the midst of a semi-blizzard. Any way, after we tied to the pier I heard that my home football team the Texans would be playing a game against the Chargers and went to the base bar to watch it. Well 4 quarters and 3 pitchers of beer later, I had to go back to the ship because I was going to be on duty the next day. That is when I learned a very valuable lesson. It is damn near impossible to navigate down a base that was set on a mountain face with frozen sidewalks and you are stumbling drunk. It was about a twenty minute walk on normal days, but this must have taken longer, because I had to make a piss detour twice, once behind some bushes and another in an inclosed smoking area in front of the Admiral's office building. I sure hope the Admiral himself didn't go in there for a cigar break and slip on a frozen puddle of seaman piss. Anyway, I remember throughout that transit I slipt andfell on my ass at least 5 times, the worst of all right in front of the guards guarding the gate in front of my ship's pier. Hard to act sober after doing that.
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  #90  
Old 03-06-2011, 06:18 PM
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Haha seaman piss.
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