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-   -   Ask An Aussie! (http://talkingship.com/forums/showthread.php?t=403)

muttonchop 04-01-2010 04:49 AM

Ask An Aussie!
 
Okay Shipheads, as the ships resident Australian (whom they keep locked in the hold, setting him loose from time to time to entertain the crew with shouts of "Crikey!" and "Cloaca!"), I wanted to start this thread for those who have ever wanted to find out a bit more about Australia, or simply wanted a crazy Aussie's opinion on any number of different subjects (I do this because every time I go on Xbox Live, I get inundated with all manner of silly/strange questions about Australia. Thought I'd get them out of the way here on the forums).

So anybody got a question that they want to... "Ask An Aussie"? :Rofl:

daCooksta 04-01-2010 07:30 AM

Are all of y'all really from Pulse and hate Cocoon just as much as Cocoon people hate Pulse?

Jitterbug 04-01-2010 07:50 AM

Are there spiders the size of a fist in your house?

Farva 04-01-2010 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jitterbug (Post 1964)
Are there spiders the size of a fist in your house?

Have you ever fisted a spider in your house?

Seriously, how close have you come to being endangered by the natural "scary shit" you have roaming around there?

muttonchop 04-01-2010 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jitterbug (Post 1964)
Are there spiders the size of a fist in your house?

Answer: Yes.

I had a run in with one a few years ago now, I was in the garage, late at night, and the light was off, as I'd just got home and parked the car and was going inside. As I was fumbling with the door (standing close to it, as you do), I felt something jump on my calf, run around the back of my leg, and jump off back onto the wall.

At this point, I was only slightly freaked out, opened the door, and turned on the light.

When I saw how fucking big the spider was, that was the point I COMPLETELY FREAKED THE FUCK OUT!! Remember, an open palm is bigger than a clenched fist... this damn thing was bigger than my open palm, and I have BIG DAMN HANDS!!!

After doing the manly thing of fetching a can of insect spray and a lighter, and cremating the little bastard, I fetched myself a can of beer, cracked a tinny, cried out crikey!, and congratulated myself on eliminating with extreme prejudice another giant mutant spider.

And we all lived happily ever after... until I found a nest of the little buggers.

muttonchop 04-01-2010 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farva (Post 1983)
Have you ever fisted a spider in your house?

Seriously, how close have you come to being endangered by the natural "scary shit" you have roaming around there?

Shit dude, I've had my fair share of close encounters with spiders of the venomous and non-venomous variety... thankfully more non than any else.

I have had a few close encounters with a number of deadly snakes, and some harmless aswell. I had to remove a Western Brown from work a few months ago. It was late night, and it was getting in and around the office area. They worked out it was hunting all the baby frogs in the area, and decided to get it removed... Guess who was the only silly fuck on site that had done a snake handlers course (steady Nerves, steady...). After messing around with the cute, HIGHLY POISONOUS critter for 1/2 an hour, finally got him in the bag, transported him off site, and let him go off into the wild. Once again, we all lived happily ever after...

...until I came into work the next night, and found out that even though I had been trained to remove snakes, it was still classed as an incident (Near Miss = Bad), which meant I had to do an incident report, which meant lottttttttttts of writing, and trying to remember (and write down) EVERYTHING I had done the night before, from the time I woke up (including amount of time slept), up until the incident... holy shit man, I have a hard enough time remembering what happened 24 minutes ago, let alone 24 fucking HOURS ago.

...short answer, yes. I have come close to being endangered by the local nasties. And no, I have not fisted a spider before... but I have sniffed moth balls before ;)

Jitterbug 04-01-2010 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by muttonchop (Post 1984)

At this point, I was only slightly freaked out, opened the door, and turned on the light.

That's the part where I would have been screaming like a little girl.
http://www.crestock.com/images/50000-59999/59087-xs.jpg

muttonchop 04-01-2010 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daCooksta (Post 1961)
Are all of y'all really from Pulse and hate Cocoon just as much as Cocoon people hate Pulse?

If by Pulse, you mean Australia, and Cocoon, you mean England, and are referring to how many moons ago, we, as convicts were cast out of Cocoon (England) to the world below, Pulse (Australia) <The Land Downunder>, then yes, we use to hate them. However, we no longer hate our bad teeth brethren like we use to, instead, we pity them and their country. It's small, wet, and cold most of the year, while down here, it's warm, sunny and full of wide open spaces.

I hope this answers your question (or confuses you further. I have a feeling I may have misinterpreted the question, as I am want to do from time to time).

If I missed the point, please re-submit your question using smaller words so my brain can process it, lol!

muttonchop 04-01-2010 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jitterbug (Post 1988)
That's the part where I would have been screaming like a little girl.
http://www.crestock.com/images/50000-59999/59087-xs.jpg

Christ dude, I think the only reason I didn't scream like a little girl is because my heart had beat the scream to my throat, and was blocking/choking off any further sound.

daCooksta 04-01-2010 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by muttonchop (Post 1990)
If by Pulse, you mean Australia, and Cocoon, you mean England, and are referring to how many moons ago, we, as convicts were cast out of Cocoon (England) to the world below, Pulse (Australia) <The Land Downunder>, then yes, we use to hate them. However, we no longer hate our bad teeth brethren like we use to, instead, we pity them and their country. It's small, wet, and cold most of the year, while down here, it's warm, sunny and full of wide open spaces.

I hope this answers your question (or confuses you further. I have a feeling I may have misinterpreted the question, as I am want to do from time to time).

If I missed the point, please re-submit your question using smaller words so my brain can process it, lol!

It was a Final Fantasy XIII joke.


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